William Chen, 1939-2008

My Father-in-law died on Sunday. The funeral was yesterday. It's been a busy week.

We originally were on a cruise to the Caribbean all week. The first couple days we had were freakin' glorious, but Sunday night we got the call, and the next day we were landing in the Dominican Republic. The ship had 24 passengers that didn't make it down in time for the launch from Miami, and instead went through Santo Domingo and took the 2 1/2 hour cab ride from the Santo Domingo airport to Samana, the port in which the ship was. We took the other way. We really felt the prayers of our friends & family on the way back, and all our flights (and the cab ride) not only left on time, but came in 20-30 minutes ahead of schedule. It was pretty cool, for being such an exhausting and difficult travel day.

The next few days were a busy time of making funeral arrangements. I never really realized how much work goes into a funeral; it's slightly more complex than a typical "party," but you're also mourning the loss of whoever it was.

I didn't know my father-in-law for a very long time; it was coming up on four years. In that time, I did realize that his motivation for the vast majority of his thoughts and actions was love. He was irascible, opinionated, and grumpy, but that was on the surface, whereas his love for God and his family was the deepest part of him. He was a brilliant, creative man, if a bit disorganized, who would frequently bite off more than he could chew, and then figure out how to finish whatever project as he went.

Heidi gets a lot of her personality from him: not so much with the grumpy aspect (and I hope that doesn't increase with age), but his stubbornness, creativity, sense of humor and attention span are hers.

I knew this was coming, but it still saddens me. For me, it's more of a regret that he won't get to meet his granddaughter (at least not for a long while), and an understanding that I'll miss him. I spent most of this week doing support work, and that will continue for months to come.

If he drank, I'd pour a forty for him. In lieu of that, I'll just say I loved him and miss him.

The End of the Beginning

And so it goes, one of the inspirations of my youth has gone the way of all flesh. Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has died.

I'm not particularly moved. His influence changed the face of gaming; he introduced the concept of a role-playing game, and for that I will be forever grateful. A lot of concepts came from the tactical wargames from which they evolved, and these games became a cross between wargames and improvisational theatre. But still, gaming has moved on since his 1970's and early 80's influence. If he had not followed his muse, would something like role-playing games exist? It's a good question, and an interesting debate. Not sure if it matters, or if I would have missed it if it hadn't existed, but I'm glad it's a moot point.

In any case, I'm very glad Gygax lived, and in that sense he has achieved immortality. He had a good run. Pour a forty for him.

Excitement and Turmoil

There was a fire next door tonight. Our building is fine, but one of the apartments next door is burned out.

We went to Evanston to enjoy the beautiful evening, and came home to get decent parking spot on a fairly unremarkable evening. As we were coming home, there were some people on the corner shouting. This really isn't anything unusual, so when the sirens came and stopped right near the intersection, I was thankful for Chicago Police coming to silence the loud people. We came in, and heard a three beep alarm out in the other building, and I was annoyed, thinking that it would stay that way all night. It wasn't long afterwards when the rest of the sirens started coming, and we realized that something was legitimately amiss.

After that, it was pretty much a brief and somewhat somber block party. The neighborhood was out, and we got to meet several of our neighbors while we watched the firefighters do their job. They blocked off our street and the cross street. There are still a lot of emergency vehicles outside, and the lights make me glad I don't have photosensitive seizures.

This was an interesting experience, but one that I'm very glad I'm seeing from this end. Several families have been displaced, and one guy (who wasn't home) completely lost his whole apartment. Fortunately no human died, but at least one dog did. This is a tragedy, plain and simple, but it doesn't stop me being fascinated about the process or about the reactions of the people dealing with it.

In-law Funeral

My sister's mother-in-law died Wednesday. It's actually a good thing; she had lung cancer, and had had several strokes in the hospital, and was suffering. She had been given only weeks to live, which was a huge stressor on her children. She's in heaven now. But still, she's gone.

Jean was a cool woman. She was strong, faithful, brutally honest and she had a really wry sense of humor. She was one of the most nonverbally expressive people I've known, as one look from her spoke volumes. A small roll of the eyes or a quirk of her mouth, and you knew exactly how she felt. I didn't spend a lot of time with her; I maybe saw her once or twice a year, but each time we did get a chance to talk, she was great. I will miss her to some degree, but I really think about my brother-in-law, and his family. I've never seen my brother-in-law close to tears before yesterday. It brings me back to my own father's death a little bit.

I started blogging in response to my dad dying. I knew I needed to get stuff out, and I was learning what this blog thing is all about. It's been really therapeutic to write down what I'm feeling, as it helps me identify and develop the emotional mess into something more concrete.

Ah well, in any case, I'll miss Jean. I know I'll see her again, and I'm cool with waiting, but she was a good person to have in this world.

Bummer

So on the 501st website, there's a video as a tribute to this seven year old girl (a daughter of one of the guys) who just recently lost her battle with cancer. She was clearly this girl with an abundance of personality, and the cancer treatments stole that from her and then killed her (well, not the treatments so much as the actual cancer). I don't know if I'm extra-sensitive because of my dad recently passing away (did I see a little bit of his last days in the last few photos of her?), or maybe I'm extra-sensitive because she reminds me a little bit of my neices, or maybe because I feel a special connection to the 501st, and they seem to be going through it as a group. In any case, I'm mourning a little girl that I never knew. I was crying in Heidi's arms last night, and I'm about to cry at work right now. Fortunately, I'm alone in the lab, so if I want to I can, but still...

Anyway, I guess life is all about change, but that little girl clearly had so much life in her. With my dad, it was different. He had lived his life. He had played with his grandchildren a month beforehand. I don't know, just feeling really messed up right about now.