Well, Blow Me Down!

Shiver me timbers! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I didn't even remember it until about 3 o'clock today. I had been plannin' a whole mess of promotions ahead of time, but with the nuptials and bein' away and all, I plumb fergot. Ah well, can't win em all, and this next year will be one to remember!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

We finally saw Dead Man's Chest yesterday, and I have to say this was one of the most purely entertaining films I've seen in about a year (and that one was among the most entertaining I've ever seen). Easily the most enjoyable of this season.

The story has a few subplots in it: Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightly) are due to be married, but on their wedding day, they're both arrested for helping Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) escape (in the previous movie). The big goal of the arrest is for the East India Company representative who made the arrest to get the magic compass that Jack carries with him, and Will is supposed to do that while Elizabeth is stuck in prison. Elizabeth is, of course, not long for prison, and ends up on a ship, attemping to find Will. Meanwhile, Jack has some problems with Davy Jones (the captain of the Flying Dutchman, not the lead singer for the Monkees), as he made a deal with Jones 13 years ago to be able to captain the Black Pearl. That was the terms of the contract, now Jones wants Jack to join his crew of underwater not-quite-undead-but-close sailors for 100 years in repayment for his debt. Jones releases the Kraken to find Sparrow, and heaps of fun ensues.

This was such a kick in the pants. This show had some of the better action sequences I've ever seen. Not so hyperkinetic as kung-fu movies, but grandiose and just freakin' fun. Pretty much every action sequence, you think it can't get more impressive, and then it does at least once. The Kraken was a legitimately monstrous sea monster, and the scenes of it attacking boats were freakin' amazing. The swordfight on the waterwheel that's all over the previews, freakin' stunning. I was laughing, not so much becaue it was funny (although parts of it were), but rather out of pure joy from the staging and choreography. The whole scene with the cannibals (there's a lot of that in the previews as well), fan-freakin'-tastic from start to finish.

Bill Nighy plays Davy Jones, and is easily the best performance in the show (it seems the Pirates of the Carribean movies have fantastic bad guys). But this film is really Elizabeth's film. Whereas she doesn't really own the action sequences (Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are both big "owners" of those), she's the most active in moving the plot along and getting things accomplished.

I think if I had to complain about anything (and I like to do that), I'd say that Johnny Depp's performance wasn't as inspired as the first film. It was still good, just not as good as it had been. I'm also a little miffed that they have a cliffhanger, "to be continued" ending. It wasn't one of those Battlestar Galactica type cliffhanger endings (where you scream profanities at the screen, hoping the producers will hear it); it did cap the movie, but it was also clearly "To be continued." I want to see three movies, not one and a two-parter. Still, the final scene (hell, the final shot), is so manipluative and provides a twist that is so unexpected that you leave the theatre wanting more, more more! I knew I had just been manipluated by what I saw on the screen, but I loved it and I want more of it.

So do I recommend this film? Only if you have a pulse. I heartily recommend it if you meet that prerequisite.

Pirates

OK, I'm really looking forward to the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Heidi and I have been discussing whether I should go in full pirate regalia or some mock-up of it (it'll be hot this weekend, so I'll probably just wear the pirate T-Shirt and maybe an eyepatch). But something intriguing is on the horizon, something which I find interesting but frightening at the same time: Pirates of the Carribean Online. Yep, you heard me, a MMORPG based of the Pirates of the Caribbean. Now, at first glance, you would think this would be a wet dream of mine. However, Star Wars Galaxies, arguably the easiest MMOG setting you could possibly imagine to do right, was a steaming pile of donkey poo with a good character creation system. Now, this was before World of Warcraft came out, and really, pretty much every MMOG these days is modeled in some way off that system, because game designers (or rather the companies they work for) don't like risk, and that's a well-crafted and violently successful game. So, PoCO could very well end up being a fun game in its own right, but in a much cooler setting and with freakin' pirate ships! However, movie-based games tend to suckalot, so hopes aren't rising too high. I'll look forward to it, I'll try to sign up for the Beta (read: free test-run), but I'm not going to hold my breath for the year it takes to come out (and, being an MMO, it'll get pushed back and/or released earlier than it should have been).

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Avast me hearties! It be International Talk Like a Pirate day today! So lift a cup o' grog, or at the very least, answer the phone with an Arr!

The Musings of Fish would like to state that it or anybody associated with it does not support murder, rape, looting, pillaging, theft, kidnapping, or any other activities associated with piracy that do not include swaggering, drinking, sailing, make-believe swordplay, or talking like a 300-year old version of a white-trash Irishman with a nautical background.

What Kind of Pirate Be Ye?

In honor of the upcoming International Talk Like a Pirate Day...

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!