Obligatory New Father Post

On Tuesday, April 14th at 3:54pm, Nola Mercy En-Ai Fisher was born. She was 6 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches. I have participated in the creation of another human being. Holy Crap.

I've heard numerous new fathers talking about how life-changing an experience, how unutterably wonderful it is, and I never understood it. I'm still getting there. When huge, monstrous events happen that have such intense amounts of emotion tied to them, I tend to process the information for many days (or weeks). I'm still processing, I think. Only just today have I been able to hold her and think of her in any way beyond just intellectual acknowledgement that she is actually my daughter. But I'm still chugging through the huge emotional impact. Over the past few days I noticed that when I'm not there, I couldn't wait to hear her plaintive little whiny cry/whimper again. Now (and I doubt this is going to last), crying is not an annoyance to me, but rather a signal of life. For the first time in my life, I've started singing little spontaneous songs as I'm holding her. I've also noticed that I'm much more open and accepting of other people, as if the world is a better place.

Let me tell you how everything happened:
WARNING: FROM HERE, THERE IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION. IF YOU'RE UNINTERESTED IN THE SOMEWHAT GRUESOME DETAILS, STOP READING NOW.
I had been up too late, playing a free trial of Age of Conan (which I recommend, by the way), so I got up a bit late that morning. As such, I was rushing around to get myself ready in time for work. Heidi had gone to the bathroom and taken a shower after I got done, and when she came out, she told me she thought her water might have broken. She lay down on the bed for a bit and nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so I decided to head to work. As I was walking to the bus stop, I saw the far-too-familiar sight of the bus driving by as I was two blocks away. I've gotten used to that, so I wasn't a huge deal to me. However, just before I got to the bus stop, Heidi calls me and said, "Yep, my water broke." I turned right around and headed back home as she called her doctor.

What followed next was a pretty quick labor. I should state right now that Prentice Women's Hospital is a very nice hospital in which there is one patient per delivery room and one patient per room in recovery. It's one of the few hospitals I've been in that wasn't depressing and scary. In any case, the hospital staff kept a pretty close eye on Heidi's blood pressure and the baby's heart rate during the labor. At each contraction, the baby's heart rate dipped a little bit, which is fairly common. However, at one point, the baby's heart rate dropped from it's usual 140 to the mid 50's, and didn't come back up. Immediately, there were a dozen people in the room and Heidi was rushed out to an operating room. They left me in the normal delivery room, alone and clueless. This was a pretty rough time for me. It was as if I walked off a cliff and fell into the sea, and didn't know when or if I would rise back to the surface. I called people to pray, and then sat there alone, praying on my own. After about 10 minutes, someone came in and told me that the baby's heart rate came back up and both mother and baby looked like they were doing OK. Then she left, asking me to stay where I was, and I was sitting there alone for another 20 minutes. Eventually, our nurse came into the delivery room and took me back to the OR. This wasn't something that any of the medical professionals thought of, but Heidi had asked them to go get me, as she knew I'd be panicked. I married a good woman.

When I got in the OR, Heidi was on a table, surrounded by a few doctors and nurses, who were discussing whether or not she should go back to the delivery room to finish up delivering normally. Heidi had dilated from 5 cm to 9 cm (10 cm is fully dilated) in the space of an hour, and the kid had had a hard time tolerating that. Evidently the motion of rushing her to the OR had worked it's magic, and the kid was in much better shape. They waited for two hours to see if she should go back to the delivery room and finish up. After that, the doctors realized that Heidi was not dilating any more despite some pretty intense contractions, and determined that the baby should come out via Caesarian. Since this wasn't an emergency C-Section, I was able to stay in the room with Heidi; they put a sheet up between us and the operation, so we could avoid the nastiness. Before I knew it (but what seemed like 30 years), the baby was out and shrieking her tiny little lungs out.

She tested almost perfectly on the Apgar test (a scale that measures the health of a newborn), but since she was still considered a preemie (she was 36 weeks, 6 days; 37 weeks is acceptably "full term"), they wanted to run some tests on her, and the test that measures her ability to regulate the glucose level in her blood came back a little weak. So they took her to the NICU, where she still is.

For a NICU, Prentice's is very nice. We're able to have an alcove to ourselves, and we have 24/7 visiting. They have a solid once-every-three-hours feeding schedule, which is convenient, because we know when to go down and be with her, and then at night we actually can get an adequate night's sleep. Still, Nola had to have a Dextrose IV for the first couple days of her life. she soon established her ability to maintain a good glucose level, but then the staff doctor noticed she was a little jaundiced. Jaundice is really common for Asian kids (Heidi had it much worse when she was freshly out of the oven), so this was nothing unusual, but still a bit annoying. Tomorrow, if all goes well (which the doctor is confident it will), she will be here in the room with us, as Heidi finishes up her recuperation.

So yeah, I am responisble for creating another human being. That human being is partially me. Blows my mind.

Little Fishie

Yes, I freely admit that I have been lax in the blogging department. My job has a super-tight internet blocking policy, and being that I work in computers, I don't spend so much time on the computer at home. Therefore, I don't write on the old blog so much anymore. Most of my latest updates are on Facebook (and it's likely that many of my friends are reading this off the facebook feed anyway). Yes, our super-tight internet block allows me to be on facebook, but doesn't allow me to hit blogger. If you can think of a rational explanation for that, I would welcome it.

In any case, for the few people who do have this on their feed (or, heaven forfend, actually visit the blog), we're adding to the population. Yes, I have spawned, and the Little Fishie is due in early May.

So, to answer the questions:
1. We don't know the gender of the kid yet.
2. Everything seems pretty normal in the ultrasounds.
3. Heidi is doing OK. She has pretty much all the standard symptoms of pregnancy, except that she has yet to actually puke.
4. Heidi has yet to experience "the quickening" (which sounds like something science fictiony, but in actuality just means when Heidi can feel the squirt moving).
5. The government has been notified, and they'll be checking into registering his/her superpowers once the election is over.

20 More things for which John is thankful

OK, last post was good, but when I was writing it I kept thinking of man-made things for which I’m thankful. A handful of things that make me want to shake the hand of the person who first thought of them. Some of these are debatable that they are man-made instead of instituted by God; for the sake of argument, I’m attributing all these to mankind, even though I personally think a lot of them are God-given. Again, these are in no order whatsoever:

1. Varying languages
2. Varying cultures
3. Humor (and the subsequent laughter)
4. Food (please also note how this relates to #2 [and I mean the cultures thing, not poo])
5. Computers
6. The Internet (particularly Wikipedia)
7. Photography
8. Literacy
9. Dramatic structure (combine this with photography to make movies, literacy to make books)
10. The dividers that go between urinals in men’s bathrooms
11. Games
12. Music
13. Education
14. Denim
15. Automobiles
16. Beer
17. Wine
18. Toilets
19. Toilet Paper
20. Hugging

20 things for which John is thankful

I've been kind of limited with the blogging thing as of late. There's a lot going on, but I have no desire to discuss it here.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about things for a few days. There are a lot of things that are in this world that are really cool, that make me feel all warm and squishy for no reason other than that they exist. I’ll make this list about what God has designed into the universe; nothing man-made will appear on this list (and yes, I understand the conundrum of how much is us and how much is Him in great works). This is just a list of things that make me happy, in no order whatsoever:
1. Magnets
2. Waves
3. Clouds
4. Stars (the Sun is included in this)
5. The moon
6. Thunderstorms
7. Trees
8. Mountains
9. Desert
10. Large expanses of water (such as oceans and huge lakes where you can’t see the other side)
11. Volcanic islands
12. Cats
13. Dogs (particularly big ones)
14. Wind
15. The sky
16. Day
17. Night
18. Fresh air
19. New fallen snow
20. Fire

The Closing of the Year

Wow, what a year 2007 has been. This year started out full of hope and promise, and then turned into reality. It didn't turn into a bad year, just didn't live up to the potential I had hoped. I would be remiss if I didn't even mention the lofty goals I had intended to be for this year, but I stopped tracking them around June-ish. Part of that was developing a new goal process, and part of that was knowing they were too lofty to be worthwhile. In any case, I didn't finish them for many reasons.

My job for the vast majority of the year was a good job for my skillset, and developed me in a good path for my career, but it was also insanely busy with constant multitasking, and I think it trained me to be mildly ADD. It also wore me out mentally, and made it very difficult to work on anything after work or on weekends. Now that job has ended (ah, the joy of being a contractor), and I'm looking for more.

We moved into the city in August, and also got rid of a car around that time. The move was huge, and it took months to clean the place up for Thanksgiving and our subsequent Christmas party. But now we live in a home, and a lovely home it is. Our office (third bedroom) is full of boxes that we need to take care of, but we have some time to do so; we can take care of one a weekend for the next several months, while still enjoying the home that we have.

Being a one-car family has its challenges, but it's a good transition for being in the city. Both of our jobs were close to public transportation, so Heidi could take the car or take the bus/train, depending on her mood that morning. I really couldn't take the car, as there's no way to cheaply park downtown. Parking in this neighborhood can be a challenge sometimes, but it's better than other places I've lived, and it's a lot better than trying to find space for two cars.

Our marriage hit a pretty rough spot this year, and I didn't write about that (not publicly, anyway), but we came through it and we're much stronger than we were before. I've had one friend say, "Marriage is the most difficult thing but the best thing that you can have." Although I think I would phrase it differently, I agree with it conceptually. In any case, that's a good thing. I've written about how we have grown stronger, and we keep going in that direction (admittedly, we're still kind of newlyweds). That fills me with hope for the future.

I didn't get much of a chance to see movies in the theatre this year, having had a gap between Stardust and National Treasure 2 (yes, I know... my brother wanted to see it). This has led me to be more of a gamer, and I've had a lot of that to keep me occupied. I've written about The Orange Box, which took up a large portion of my time, and I have yet to write about Mass Effect, which took up just as much time.

I got two voiceover gigs this year: one non-union and one union. I can see that being an actor is going to take a lot more work, and I've been doing a lot of work already. Sometimes, it's difficult to not get frustrated, but then I kind of put things in perspective: I'm making an adequate wage (at least I was), I have a good marriage, I have a lovely home, and I get to do what I love on the side (gaming, acting, whatever). Although I'd like to do what I love for a living, I'm pretty cool doing what works for right now.

I only brewed once this year. I'm disappointed with myself for that, but the beer turned out pretty well, and I've had a busy schedule, so I'm not going to kick myself too hard. For my birthday, Heidi got me two, count 'em, two kits. So that will change for next year.

So that be me. That be 2007. Bring on the new year!

Excitement and Turmoil

There was a fire next door tonight. Our building is fine, but one of the apartments next door is burned out.

We went to Evanston to enjoy the beautiful evening, and came home to get decent parking spot on a fairly unremarkable evening. As we were coming home, there were some people on the corner shouting. This really isn't anything unusual, so when the sirens came and stopped right near the intersection, I was thankful for Chicago Police coming to silence the loud people. We came in, and heard a three beep alarm out in the other building, and I was annoyed, thinking that it would stay that way all night. It wasn't long afterwards when the rest of the sirens started coming, and we realized that something was legitimately amiss.

After that, it was pretty much a brief and somewhat somber block party. The neighborhood was out, and we got to meet several of our neighbors while we watched the firefighters do their job. They blocked off our street and the cross street. There are still a lot of emergency vehicles outside, and the lights make me glad I don't have photosensitive seizures.

This was an interesting experience, but one that I'm very glad I'm seeing from this end. Several families have been displaced, and one guy (who wasn't home) completely lost his whole apartment. Fortunately no human died, but at least one dog did. This is a tragedy, plain and simple, but it doesn't stop me being fascinated about the process or about the reactions of the people dealing with it.

Sharing Experiences from the Chicago Monsoon

Everybody will have their own stories about the storm we've been having. It's arguably the biggest rainstorm I've ever experienced, and it's really fun. Admittedly, I'm sure it would be less fun if I or someone I loved was involved in some property damage as a result of this, but right now, I'll accept that it's fun.

Some observations/experiences:

-The bus from the train station was leaking, as if it was a poorly constructed submarine. I kept feeling like I'd hear metal groaning under the weight of the depths.

-I've never been so happy to have Timberland work shoes. They're pretty much all waterproof, which makes for very pleasant walking experiences when walking through a park under an umbrella when the ground is flooded and thousands of gallons of water are coming down and there's lightning all around.

-Because of said lightning and walking though the park (from the bus stop to home) under an umbrella, I've never before thought I'd get hit by lightning. It was kinda scary, but I can't say that it wouldn't be interesting to experience.

-It's so freakin' cool to be standing at a bus depot and almost seeing where lightning struck (it was a few blocks away) when it struck. I felt the blast from the thunder.

-All we're hearing is sirens. They're not so common now, and the rain is dying down, but for a while there, if we heard a vehicle, it was an emergency vehicle.

-I'm happy that we had planned to be home anyway, and that we have leftovers in the fridge.

The move

So we moved. I'm right now sitting in my new living room, the only room that's in any sort of order right now. I didn't write about the move prior to today, as we were both zombies for quite some time, and I didn't have the internet hooked up. Lo and behold, my craving for living brains has subsided, and I hooked up the router, and here is a very post.

I've never moved with this much crap. I had some furniture last year, Heidi had her stuff, and we bought some more stuff together. Then the wedding presents came in. We have a lot of stuff.

After the move, we both slept like stone out of pure exhaustion. Then I thought, we really didn't move much. Sure we were coordinating, and I assisted with the destruction/construction of the bedframe, but we didn't do hardly any of the carrying. We hired movers to do the bulk of the dirty work, and I can't freakin' imagine doing that job on a regular basis. They spent nearly eight hours in 90+ degrees carrying our crap. They were hot, they were sweating like pigs, they were exhausted, and they were fine with it. They got compensated handsomely for it, but they earned every penny of it.

So anyway, the new place is currently a mess, and we need to get a lot of things organized, but it's our home for the next few years. And we're here. The worst part is over.

Stay tuned for the housewarming party.

Various Ends and Various Beginnings

So, I can drive now. I didn't blog about it, and I didn't really talk about it so much unless it was relevant or necessary. Here's the deal: I had a seizure back in August. No biggie, just something that happens from time to time. I told my neurologist, didn't tell the DMV. However, because the State of Illinois knows that I have a seizure history, they can't renew my license without a medical release from said neurologist. The neurologist can't sign off on my medical release unless I've been seizure free for six months. Still no problem, but here's the kicker: my license expired last December. So, for two months, I didn't drive much, and when I did, I was always looking over my proverbial shoulder (and sometimes my actual one) to make sure I wasn't going to get pulled over for anything. Being pulled over is bad enough when you have to pay $50. When you run the risk of having your car impounded, it's a little worse.

But now I can drive. I got my medical release, I went to the DMV, and I'm a legitimate driver again. It's really freeing when you can legally drive all you want. I'm a happy man.

Also, I've quit World of Warcraft again. I've done it before, and I might end up doing it again, but for now, the game isn't doing it for me anymore (and I have less time to devote to it, with me being out of the house 12 1/2 hours a day). I'm kind of wondering if I've had enough of being a PC gamer. I could consider being a console gamer and getting a Mac, but I'm also not about to make some leap that I don't want to follow through on just yet. Meh, just thinkin.

Officially a Suburbanite

I like the city. I miss being in the city. Whenever I go into the city, I want to be there for a while. It's the vibe, the closeness, the depth of the place. Moving out to the suburbs was a change of pace, one that was not particularly welcome, but made a lot of sense at the time. I do love the home we've created, one that we couldn't have created in the city for twice what we're paying now, but it's in the 'burbs.

I figured I'd be able to maintain a tie to the city by staying at First Free, my church in the city. But the sense of community was difficult to maintain when I was living there, and being this far out, it would be borderline impossible. As if to say a semi-permanent "goodbye" to the city, we've officially decided to go to Willow Creek, a much more local-to-us church (and I believe it to be the largest church in the world as far a building square footage). It's a great church for creative people, but small group community is practically essential with a population greater than some towns. I'm hoping it will be less of a challenge to maintain friendships here; meh, we'll see what happens.

Fortunately, like most suburbanites, both Heidi and I like going into the city. Unfortunately, it's going to be a challenge to maintain the city-relationships I do have, as city folk tend to fear the suburbs. Two of the most adventurous people I know in the city both said, on separate occasions, "Here there be dragons" about areas pretty darn close to where I now live.

Sure, the best relationships will stay, because that what good friends do, but I expect to lose touch with a lot of people whose company I really enjoy. Admittedly, I'll be creating new relationships at the new place, but I guess I'm just not ready to let go of the old ones.

So my last real tie to the city is gone, one that I've had since I moved to the Chicago area. I'll miss it. A lot. Might as well buy an SUV now.

Back to the schedule

Yes, I know, I haven't posted anything in a while. Let me 'splain. I like being married. It's a good relationship that has developed a lot over the past month-and-a-week, and I see our lives developing into something bigger than our individual parts. The byproduct of that is that I want to spend a lot of time with my wife. This is a good thing.

However, the new TV season is upon us. Of course, Heidi and I can watch TV together, so that's good. But it does suck up a lot of time. So far, Heroes is a maybe, but this week's episode gave it a one-episode credit. Lost, Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica are gimmes (Doctor Who primarily because of its history... by itself it's a good, but not great, show). Most other shows I've seen are catch them if I can. I might include The Office into the must-haves, but that will wait. In any case, that's a lot right there.

However, there's still a lot to do with the post-wedding crap. Family wants a lot of time. Friends want slightly less time. We still need to decide on our pictures (you can see a lot of them at www.pictage.com). We still need to get the house in order. We still need to do thank-you cards.

However, I'm a gamer. It's what I do. I've prayed about it, and felt God say, "No, it's cool." I need a good bout of gaming on a moderately regular basis to keep myself relaxed and sane. I can do that with friends or by myself... doesn't really matter. But that is a rather large time sink in which I'm not socializing with my wife. She's OK with it, but it's a time sink.

However, we also have little bits n pieces that suck up our time. There are movies we want to see. There are plays we want to see. There is an art show we want to hit. We want to carve a pumpkin. I want to brew some beer. We want to have parties.

All this is to say that finding time to blog is moderately low on my priority list. Work is pretty active, so I don't have a lot of time to sit and blog, and it ends up getting pushed by the wayside when I'm home, as I have other things vying for my attention.

This isn't an excuse, it's an explanation. I'll post more shortly. There's more to muse upon very soon.

Seizuriffic

I had a seizure this morning. I was at home, so it wasn't such a bad issue. I jave a carpet burn on my face, and it looks like I scratched myself with my toenail, but other than that, I'm pretty OK. This is good, because frequently, seizures end up with me getting a new scar due to falling at an inconvenient location. I don't think it's a big deal so much, as I average a seizure every seven years or so, and this one was eight years since my last one. So crap, but not so crappy as it could be.

The move

The vast majority of my stuff is moved to Schaumburg. I'm actually kinda glad I wasn't working the past couple days, as I had a lot of stuff to move, and not a lot of space in which to move it (VW Beetles have a fair amount of passenger space, but they really aren't cargo vehicles). But the movers came and took all my furniture to the new place, and voila! I'm now sitting on my couch, but with a remarkable amount of space between me and the rest of our stuff. I have yet to unpack the electronics for the Altar of Entertainment, but that'll happen shortly.

In any case, the new place is beginning to look like a home, and the old place looks hollow (albeit still pretty messy).

Radio Silence

So sorry about not posting for quite a while. A lot of poop has been coming down, and it's been difficult to keep my head above it all (ooo, there's an image). Anyway, looks like the past couple weeks have been the head of the past few months, and all this has been forcing me to deal with an issue that had been plaguing me for pretty much my whole life. I'm not going to go into details on a public forum, as it's far too easy to get misinterpreted, but I now have fodder for helping people through other stuff, and now I'll be entering into a healthier marriage. Can't say I'm 100% yet, but I'm better than I was. Possibly better than I ever was. How's that for vague?

And So I Hmmm.....

I just got an email noting open auditions for Lifeline Theatre in a few weeks. Part of me perked up a bit, but I had so much hesitation that I had to stop and think... was it the finances? The fact that my headshots have me with a beard still? Then I figured it out: I'm not an actor right now. I'm a fiancee, I'm a computer geek, and I want to be an actor, but I'm not one right now. I'm not in a position to be able to really do anything with my abilities, due to finances and future commitments, and also, my soon-to-be home will be too damn far away to come into the city for rehearsals all the time. I think working in voiceover will make things easier, but frankly, I don't know when that's going to be happening, and the last thing I want is for my marriage to start out with me being stressed about how I'm going to accomplish X, Y, and Z.

This is an odd time for me right now, I guess. Finances are extremely tight, not because they're actually tight, but because of planned expenses. In fact things are so tight that, without some miracle, I won't be able to afford duplication of my voiceover demo until October or so. Yet I'm doing just fine right now. Last week, my home computer crashed on me in a massive way (this post, and my work, is being done currently on Heidi's laptop, and work is shipping me another system), so my hobbies have changed drastically almost overnight; I still have the Xbox, but I'm not really a "gamer" all that much anymore (a label by which I've identified myself for the bulk of my life). Since finances are as tight as they are, we have to be very careful about the movies we see, right during the summer blockbuster season, and me with a film degree. I'm excited to be marrying Heidi, but we're three months away. To top it off, I'm very pleased with the place I'm moving into, but it's way the heck out in the burbs, and I've really considered myself a city person for the bulk of my life.

So effectively what it boils down to is that I'm in a holding pattern for the next few months, and I'm having to redefine myself. I guess this is a good thing for someone who is on the verge of stepping into the shoes of a married man, especially after being effectively perpetually single. But I'd prefer to learn my lessons quickly, and move forward in a significant way, y'know?

Panic and Release

So I have recently realized that there are a lot of things sucking me financially dry as of late, and not as many options as I once thought for extra work, and frankly, I haven't been handling it all that well. No, let me rephrase that. Last night I was freakin' paralyzed with fear. I was staring down the oncoming semi truck. I have options, but nothing like I had hoped. But here's the thing. I woke up this morning, and I wasn't worried. Then I started thinking about things and I got worried again, but as I was lying in bed I decided to trace the root of some of those worries and fears. I ended up getting over not only the worst of that fear, but some sense of betrayal that I had felt back in my early 20's, some lingering feelings of self-hatred, and got on to forgiving my father and brother for some crap that went on when I was a wee lad. It's really interesting how our emotions layer, one on top of another, protecting yourself from the agony of the protective layer below it.

Am I still concerned about the next few months? Yep. It's gonna be tight, and I want go on our honeymoon without worrying about how much it's all costing us, but y'know, right now, I'm doing OK. Heidi and I both have pretty good jobs, we just got a freakin' stunningly beautiful place, and we have each other. Besides, uncertainty is all part of the adventure of life, is it not?

BFL Report, Day 66: Dammit, dammit, dammit!

So for the past 66 days I've been psychotically careful about what I ate and when I ate it, I've been obsessive about getting to the gym six days a week, and I've been changing and looking significantly better. Not as good as I'd like, but there's still time. Then my back decides to go nutso on me again. And get this, I'm lifting more weight than I've ever lifted at the gym, but I don't injure myself at the gym, I injure myself putting on my freakin' shorts! And now I'm in too much pain to continue having effective workouts, so 78% of the way through the freakin' program, right when I need to be focused and really push myself, I'm being forced to skip workouts. And probably for the rest of the week. It's pretty likely that I'm going to have to quit the Body for Life Challenge altogether. I can't tell you how infuriating that is. This isn't something I was sucking at, I was doing pretty well. Probably wouldn't have made it to the champion level, but what-the-fuck-ever, I was doing pretty well with this. And then my damn back says, "Um, no." Grrrr. Maybe I should order a pizza.

A Science Fiction Fogey

Wow I feel old. Let me 'splain.

I'm 36 years old. That's not so bad. I was born in late 1969. My mom was pregnant with me when man first landed on the moon. These were the days of adventure. I grew up watching Star Trek, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers, and pretty much every other science fiction piece of crap I could get my hands on. There was a dry period there for a while in the early and mid '80s until Star Trek: The Next Generation came out, and then producers wised up and realized there was good money to be made in science fiction.

But I'm 36. I remember those days. I remember having an afro because that was the style in the '70s. I remember VW's back when the reliable ones were in production. I remember a time before computers, ATMs, the internet, or even FM radio (or at least FM radio's popularity). I remember Han Solo shooting first. I think what gets me the worst is that I know a few people in their early 20's, and have been watching them get exposed to the new Battlestar Galactica. They have no idea what it used to be. They have no idea THAT it used to be.

When I exposed Esther (Heidi's 20-year-old sister) to BSG, she was having a hard time pronouncing the word Cylon when it was printed on the screen. That was a completely foreign concept to me. When I first saw the word Cylon printed on the screen, all I could hear was Dirk Benedict's voice in the back of my mind saying the word. Esther had never even known this show existed prior to the Sci-Fi Channel's retelling of it. I think what got me even worse was Nate's (Heidi's cousin, who I believe is 23) . In the linked post, he talks about the miniseries being like a "wannabe scifi movie." OK, ouch.

Perhaps it's just because I know from what depths of mediocrity this particular show arose. I have been quite pleased to hear that for quite a while Esther was hiding away watching the first season whenever she could, but in her case, I was returning the favor (she got me hooked on Lost). Y'know, it was a crappy show in the '70's, but I was 8. I hadn't developed my sense of critical appreciation yet. For me it was all, "Ooooo, spaceships! Laser guns!" and I got obsessed. As an adult, I've tried to sit through an entire episode, and have managed to do so I think once, and that's only because I was trying to get Heidi to remember the show she last saw when she was 3. So I'll admit, I'm a bit biased. To hear such lack of knowledge pains me, and to hear such harsh criticism even more so.

Progress

So I'm now 20% into the Body for Life Challenge (17 days out of 84). The first couple weeks were kind of tough, maintaining the focus, and reminding myself I needed to go to the gym and so on, but I'm settling into the routine. I haven't lost any weight, but I've gained muscle, so that means I've lost an equal amount of fat (I haven't been measuring that, but I might start). I'm not in severe pain anymore, but rather the occasional ache, and I'm a little tired from the exertion. But I feel a lot less lazy than I did before, which is nice. Seems getting up and forcing myself to do something has improved my motivation in a lot of ways. Yay me!

Overcommitted

So there have been a lot of demands on my time & energy as of late. Frankly, I'm not handling it all that well. A good portion of my weekend was spent sleeping. The workout and nutrition regimen takes a lot more energy and time than not doing it (it's surprising how much time is taken out of your day trying to eat 6 healthy meals), Pre-marital counseling doesn't take a lot of time normally, but we had two different sessions last week, and each one ends up being really emotionally exhausting, I'm working on voiceover stuff three times a week, I still have Parable and Worship Planning regularly on my schedule, and I'm leading Stage Hands at church, and being on the board with Mensa. That, and work has been really busy lately. And I've been trying to work the Fight Shop into my schedule. I need to drop some stuff. Fortunately, I'm not running for re-election with Mensa, but that's not really a huge schedule drain, and I think I'm going to drop Worship Planning at least until the beginning of next year. I've decided that the Fight Shop can wait until the voiceover workshops are finished, and we only have a couple more counseling sessions. So April will be slightly less crazy, and May should be even better. Still, I've been kinda wiped as of late.