Old Habits Die Hard

This has been a rough week so far. Maybe it's been the change in Daylight Savings. Maybe it's just the overcommitted thing creeping up on me moreso. I'm sure those things have a hand in it, but what I really think it is is my old habits in (lack of) nutrition and activity coming back and saying, "OK, you've had your fun, now let's get back to the real world." I skipped my workout yesterday. I was even halfway to the gym, and decided to turn around and go home. Eating right has been a huge pain in the butt all week, and I haven't bothered to actually make anything healthy this week (I've done a lot of chicken and tuna sandwiches). Last night, after the skipped workout, I realized I needed to do some work on me. Battle the needs over the desires, or at least one level of desires over another level. And I realized that in Genesis, when Jacob wrestles with God, this must have been what he was doing. Because after this, he was no longer "the deceiver;" he had a changed nature. This got me thinking (OK, thinking more). We, as Americans (not saying that other nationalities have it nailed, just that I've been an American for 36 years and I've understood my relationship with Christ for half that long, so that's my perspective) have too narrow a view on what sin is, or rather we have a skewed perspective on what it is. Sin is far to often considered a checklist we have to measure up to, but when I skipped my workout yesterday, I was sinning against God's plan for my life right now. I had to repent, and turn the whole thought process around (which is usually a wrestling process).

Hunaphu recently has been discussing the American Temperence Movement of the late 19th/early 20th century, which was all about the "evils of alcohol" and ultimately led to prohibition. I think that is one of the worst examples of the skewed American perspective on sin in recent memory. That thought process states, "Well, evil has been done by alcoholics, therefore the source of the evil must be alcohol." This is an extreme example, but it's far too simplistic to really nail down the truth of the matter.

Admittedly, much of a Christian life is getting to the point of understanding how to go through life without the obvious stuff: hate, lust, selfishness, etc, and most Christians build a "maintenance mentality" that promotes the checklist thinking. But once you understand the relationship aspect (and, admittedly, I didn't understand this very well prior to spending time with Heidi... ask me about that later), the whole Plan becomes much clearer. At present, I would be sinning if I was to not deal with the Voice-Over stuff, I would be sinning if I was to not work out and eat healthy. But, as Paul says in Romans, sometimes I do what I don't want to do (I'm paraphrasing). The truth of the matter is this: God has a plan for us and wants to be in relationship with us; when we are walking in that relationship we understand that plan on a basic level; when we are walking in that plan we are at our most comfortable and things seem to "work;" we understand on a core level when we've stepped outside of the plan or the relationship; God is cool about helping us back on track; it ain't necessarily easy.

Incidentally, I got up early and back in the gym this morning. It wasn't as intense a workout as I'd like, but I was there.