On Pride

Pride is a funny thing. You get a lot accomplished in a short period of time, and build walls for yourself. You have done well. You are capable. You are right. You are blind. Sometimes the walls are there for protection, but they add to the walls that pride builds. They make you more capable, right and blind. If someone crashes up against your gates with their pride, they are also right and blind, and you reinforce your walls. But not until someone sneaks in with humility and love do they take the foundations of the walls away. That's when the walls you've spent time creating come crashing down, and you are left sitting in the mess. You no longer feel capable (although you probably still are), you are no longer right, for you are no longer blind.

The "you" in this illustration is me, and I'm right now sitting in a mess of my own making. Heidi was good about helping me out of the worst of it last night. I guess being overcommitted has developed walls of both pride and protection, the voice over thing has developed pride, and a general discontentedness thing (perhaps because of the overcommittedness) has developed a general negativity, which thankfully, has not spilled over much into my relationship with Heidi. But I have hurt some other people that I really love with my negativity. Crap.